Mini Vacation!

So it looks like I'm going on a mini vacation! I'm headed to the RP tonight where I'll be for a little bit. Planning to enjoy it, since I probably won't be going back until 2014 =) I'm also going to stock up on my cooking secret recipes staple (aka magic sarap) ! I haven't been cooking anything lately because
1) my brothers are on a health binge and what I cook isn't healthy
2) I hate putting in so much effort and money into something only I will enjoy
3) Now that I'm pregnant, I don't seem to like whatever I know how to make

It will be nice knowing I'll have easy access to it when I do start cooking again, at least. My husband will just have to fend for himself in the kitchen until I'm ready to bear the smell of garlic and onions again. Unless he wants to eat spaghetti and broccoli for the next few months, which will be fine with me!

So aversions. Here's my list:
-garlic
-sweet bread
-kangen water
-onions
-rice
-chicken (especially actual chicken) (exception: in japanese curry, i will eat chicken.)
-most forms of meat (exception : ground beef)
-fish (except for grilled salmon, I'm not sure why but I will eat rice for salmon)
-most seafood ( I can stomach squid/pusit pretty well!)

I guess it doesn't sound so bad, but when you consider what the usual dining fare for a Filipina woman is... it rules out a LOT. I've been living off of italian food, fruits, cold milk (LOVE COLD MILK!), and force fed chicken cutlet and rice.

I'm entering my second trimester, and the symptoms are supposed to be easing up. For the most part they are, with the exception of the increasing aversions. I'm learning to just suck it up and swallow though, for the sake of adequate nutrition. I could go all day without eating, but my stomach never fails to remind me to cram something into my mouth. I have a window of 5 minutes to find food before I start dry heaving up the hizzy. The beauty of the human body. And now the hormones are REALLY coming in to play. I find myself more and more just wanting my personal space... I can't wait until Dats gets home and we can just enjoy each other and our little family before we venture out and meet the rest of the world. Family has always been a big thing for me... but for me, family has never been about blood. It's about the people you care about that care about you, that understand you and give you what you need, be it space or time or a listening ear, open mind, giving heart... Thankfully most of my family is exactly that, but I never limit it to just blood relatives. And I do make more of an effort to have relationships with people who are blood related to me, because I understand that many people think family is family is family, blood first. However, for me, family is love first.  I've always been a small group kind of person, and now it's even more intense. My main concern and my main priority has become the little teeny tiny thing in my tummy. As terrible as it sounds, I feel like the rest of the world can fend for itself while I focus on it.

Another new symptom has appeared. I guess I've been dodging it since I've been dodging sleep lately, but now that I'm able to sleep through the night they've come to keep me company. Around the net they're called "vivid dreams" but really all they are for me is nightmares. They aren't even about the baby! They're mostly about Dats leaving me, losing interest, things of that sort. If it's some kind of insight into my psyche, I'm assuming it means that I'm concerned that he won't be a part of our lives... I'm scared but pretty confident about the baby, but the things that worry me are things that are out of my control, aka his feelings, lol. When I wake up I feel very very guilty though because he's always been so good to me and I've never had any reason to doubt him. When I tell him about them he doesn't even get hurt or offended that I would dream such things, just reassures me that the favorite thing on him is his ring. I'm glad he's so understanding about it.

I mentioned that the hormones are kicking in! Yes, with a vengeance. The other night my dad said something about my eating all the time and I cried myself to sleep. I even went into creating a FB post that I knew would bother him and that he would see, since he's always on my ma's account. After reading it he said he's never going to go on FB again, and tells my ma I've changed. *sigh* because I finally say something about the constant teasing, I've changed. oh well. I'll just settle with the fact that he doesn't understand and he's so used to saying whatever he wants and criticizing everyone else for what they say. He's not used to responses.
Anyway, it was a blessing in disguise, since it made me want to leave earlier, which is how I found out that I actually SHOULD leave earlier. The Continental/United merger changed up the rules, so I've got until the end of the month to get outta here. Good thing I'm all packed! Aside from depositing my last check and picking up my medical records, I'm out of the system here =)

Last night I was able to visit Majah! I brought kuya (older brother) with me, because it gets DARK down south, and I'm not familiar with the area. She's so ridiculously happy, I wouldn't dare take her from there, as much as I want to. Driving away and seeing her through my window was awful. I'm going back again once before I leave so that I can get more pictures of her in action.

More when I get home!

8 weeks? 9 weeks?

Baby Update!
According to the period method (which I don't trust because I have an extreeeeemely irregular cycle), I'm 9 weeks. I feel like I'm huge though. I just lost all that weight and as of my last appointment I'm supposed to gain most of it back. It hasn't been fun so far, I'm either starving for something that's ridiculously expensive (steak, anyone?) or something that's only available on certain days (Spencer BBQ, fleamarket mornings ONLY) To top it off, I can't even have my steak the way I like it (medium well) so I don't want to pay for it if I can't have it the way I want. I can't STAND chicken, but I feel bad being so picky so I just take it. Sometimes if the sauce is awesome I just try to trick myself, but it doesn't work. The texture of it, the look of it, it's awful. I used to love chicken like it were my other half, and now I detest its presence in my life. The good side of it is, not eating chicken has opened up my eyes to all the other delicious meats! This morning I was craving American style BBQ ribs. Planned on going out to lunch with some of my coworkers (since I went back to work this week), but that fell through because the combination of my weakened state and being surrounded by sickly people in a freezing office and rain (OH MY THE RAIN) has taken it's toll. I was home by 1300. I went from happily discussing Planet of the Apes with my coworkers, to staring at pictures of ribs on the left screen of my dual monitors that I pulled up on a Google Image Search (St. Louis Ribs, DO IT!), to laying with my head on the desk silently suffering as I tried not to sneeze ( it hurts what I can only imagine is my uterus). I suppose this is all because it's my first pregnancy, and my body is still adjusting  to this surge of hormones. The fact that my hormones JUST GOT BACK ON TRACK may not be helping either, I'm probably the most hormonally unstable person on the planet right now which has got me worried in all sorts of ways.

Here are a bunch of pregnancy pains that no one tells you about, until you google it.

1. GAS.
2. Random mild cramping
3. Painful sneezing
4. Constipation
5. Neck and Back pain ( the prenatal yoga only feels good during the yoga session. Every other hour of the day you will be miserable. They better not be lying about it getting better, or I'm writing a letter.)
6. That awful glucose drink! UGH! Who makes a hungry pregnant woman fast (as in not eating, not molding her to become the next Usain Bolt) and then down THAT?!
7. Pregnancy related Carpal Tunnel ( I KNOW, WHO KNEW?!)

Try not to mind me too much, I'm just cranky. Cranky at the idea that I am terrified I'm going to fart every time I sneeze in the office. I did it in the stall once on one of my many pee trips and almost burst out laughing. I would've freaked out the lady next to me so I held it in.

The books and the internet have been very helpful, but my ma's been the best of all. I lie in bed all day feeling like a lazy slob but she seems to understand. I'm spending as much time with her as I can while I'm here because I'm her only daughter and this is the only chance she'll have left to baby me. I'm in the mood for babying, I'm just afraid of getting too comfortable. I don't like the idea of delaying growth and progress for the sake of comfort.

I've been taking belly pics every week but they just look like fat so those won't be going up anytime soon. Dats swears he sees a difference and that's "it's so cute!" (You'd laugh if you knew him). I love that he's so involved and supportive, to the point that he feels terrible about not getting to be around for a majority of it. I don't love that he feels terrible, but you get what I mean, right? He's the best husband he can be from where he's at =) I can't wait until I get the first sonogram (ultrasound is next week!) and I start showing more so I can make him a photobook of our progress to send to him when he's deployed! The USO's got a great program going on, I hope I get all the stuff in time for me to send it out! Yay, Rocketlife! Here's the link for all who are interested in doing something similar.

http://uso.rocketlifeproduction.com/



Majah Update!
I received an email from her new home, and they ADORE her, so I'm very happy =). They said they'd send pictures of her playing on the beach with her coconuts! I'm glad she finally got to see the beach, Dats would always bug me to take her but when she was a puppy, but that's a prime spot for parvo and she was sickly enough as it was. Soon enough it was just too much of a hassle to put a wet dog in my car, so we never brought her. Now she'll spend the rest of her days watching an Agat sunset... I can only imagine what she thinks of it. Pics up when I get them =)

Our own little fruit basket!

Hello readers! I know it's been awhile since I've written, and trust me, it's not without reason. I know you all are just getting to know me, so I'll add a little backdrop to this story before I tell you why I'm so excited.

Last year, I was diagnosed with PCOS. In short, my hormones were all screwy, resulting in weight gain, changes in my hair and face, and it was difficult to lose the weight I was putting on. Apparently I may have had it as early as middle school, when my severely irregular periods first started, but it was masked as I joined sports to maintain a healthy weight and was put on BCP to regulate it. I got off the pills about a year ago, as I thought that might be what was the reason it was so difficult for me to drop the weight I was gaining, only to find out there was a deeper problem. The doctor told me that my body and hormones were not in the right mix to have kids anytime soon, and I was put on medication to remedy it. I love kids, and I've always wanted a family, so this was pretty crushing. A lot of crying took place, and my poor husband (we weren't married yet) took the brunt of it and he stood by me and always calmed me down... and he waited with me as I did whatever I could to just address the situation. Eventually I was taken off the medication, and told not to expect anything for awhile as my body was still normalizing. By now I've already kind of adjusted to the fact that we may have to wait for awhile and to the fact that we may not be able to have kids of our own at all. I tried to look at it as a chance for us to have time for just the two of us before we started a family, and that made things a little easier.

Fastforward to this July, we get married, and as of a few weeks ago, we find out we're expecting! I'm so excited, nervous, happy, but most of all I'm grateful. I let go and I let God, and as always, he knows when we're ready more than we know ourselves. I sometimes still can't believe how unbelievably blessed I am... to have a loving and supportive  family, a husband who stands by me in my most difficult hours, and now for this opportunity for us to start a family of our own. We've already came up with a name if it's a girl : Mara / Maia Elizabeth. (goddess of springtime and God's Promise)

I was going to wait until I was at least 2-3 months along, but my parents can't seem to hold it in so I might as well spill before I have no one left to tell! It's going to be a long and difficult journey ahead, seeing as Dats will be deployed, we're currently 8000 miles apart, and I'll be in the process of moving, but it's all doable. By the time he gets home I'll be about 7-8 months along so he won't miss EVERYTHING. (He's already wanting me to come out now so he can "help") I don't know what he could do aside from get me food though. I think he really just wants to be here for us, and he feels bad that he can't, and I think he's going to be a great father even though he's worried he won't be. So far he's been an amazing husband and partner, far or near. I couldn't ask for more.