in Maryland! I've been here for about a week now, and I'm loving the weather. I don't know how I was getting by in Guam with the heat! My poor parents have yet to see their power bill from when I moved back in for a bit. It was just around 50 and rainy today and I was hot so I stood outside in a t-shirt and skirt eating cookies and cream ice cream while people rushed around in coats and jackets. The heat is mainly concentrated in my neck and back, which is irksome since that's the part jackets and scarves like to cover. I guess I could go out in just gloves! My hands are like ice and the rest of me is melting. I like to put them on my neck all the time to cool myself off. Yay pregnancy, we can do this! It's gonna be in the 30's this week, I'm wondering how I'll fare in that.
I'm trying not to compare myself to every other pregnant person I see, which is difficult. I even Google what women look like in certain weeks (15 for this week!) and wonder why I'm either monstrously huge or worryingly tiny in comparison. I don't know if I'm gaining any. My pants no longer button, but my ring is sliding off. Maybe the weight is shifting around? I don't know. We'll see at the next appointment what's going on.
As far as getting things settled in Guam, I think everything is pretty much taken care of. There are a few things left at the house for my ma to pack up and donate to the Philippines, and then a box of stuff to just save for myself. Things I love but never use, like the portable art kit from my brother. It's unbearably awesome and I never feel creative enough for it. I'm all set for Tricare here in MD and I'll be seen at Johns Hopkins (which I am very excited about!) and I have to admit I love how easily things get done around here, a big switch from Guam. I could have had it all done in a day if I wanted to! My next appointment is scheduled and everything, easy breezy. I wish I could apply for WIC while I'm here, but I'm not a resident and I'm only here for about 2 months so I don't know how that's going to work. I can wait until GA for that.
I'm still trying to adjust to the idea that I am no longer bringing in income. I've prepared for the next few months, but it's still hard for me to grasp. I've been working since I was legally able, and under the table before that, so going from that to indefinitely unemployed is another big first for me. I suppose I'm technically not unemployed since I'm not actively looking for work, but hey, no money is no money. Thankfully I have a husband who is ridiculously responsible with money (I can't believe my luck sometimes!) and who is very understanding about the whole issue, and supports me in going back to work as soon as I feel comfortable. That or he just doesn't want me digging in his pockets all the time,which I feel is fair since I would feel better contributing to our finances anyway. I like having my me-money.
Majah update: Her new owners are moving to Burma (I KNOW!) so they're trying to find her another home. I offered my help and have been getting a few hits, but I wish them luck in finding her a home as good as she had with them. They sincerely love her and I know they'll have a hard time letting her go especially if it isn't to a great home. I think the only reason I was able to do it is because I saw how much they loved her and took care of her. The dog lived in paradise, literally on the beach, with crabs and lizards to chase all day long and she built a nest of coconut husks. I just don't know if it gets any better than that. I am scarred for life at how hard it was to let go of her and convinced I will never be able to own another dog. Don't know how I'm going to handle the baby thing if I was that worked up about my dog. I'll probably go nuts if my kid gets sick. If you see me rolling a baby around in a floating bubble, please whack me. The world has just become such a terrifying place. And to think, I was the one who used to brave it all.
Pre-pregnancy Jes :That puddle? *SPLASH*
Pregnant Jes: PUDDLE?! LEPTOSPIROSIS! *buys rain boots and walks around it anyway*
OH EXCITING NEWS!
I was on Skype with Dats and I felt movement! I think he saw my face look confused and then I tried to explain it... like someone was blowing bubbles, or blowing a raspberry from INSIDE, or popcorn popping. We were VERY excited. He asked me to send him a sleep mask in his next care package, and I told him he better enjoy his sleep because he won't be getting any when he gets home. I will be bugging him all night long.
More updates later!
Wednesday 26 October 2011
Friday 7 October 2011
Mini Vacation!
So it looks like I'm going on a mini vacation! I'm headed to the RP tonight where I'll be for a little bit. Planning to enjoy it, since I probably won't be going back until 2014 =) I'm also going to stock up on my cooking secret recipes staple (aka magic sarap) ! I haven't been cooking anything lately because
1) my brothers are on a health binge and what I cook isn't healthy
2) I hate putting in so much effort and money into something only I will enjoy
3) Now that I'm pregnant, I don't seem to like whatever I know how to make
It will be nice knowing I'll have easy access to it when I do start cooking again, at least. My husband will just have to fend for himself in the kitchen until I'm ready to bear the smell of garlic and onions again. Unless he wants to eat spaghetti and broccoli for the next few months, which will be fine with me!
So aversions. Here's my list:
-garlic
-sweet bread
-kangen water
-onions
-rice
-chicken (especially actual chicken) (exception: in japanese curry, i will eat chicken.)
-most forms of meat (exception : ground beef)
-fish (except for grilled salmon, I'm not sure why but I will eat rice for salmon)
-most seafood ( I can stomach squid/pusit pretty well!)
I guess it doesn't sound so bad, but when you consider what the usual dining fare for a Filipina woman is... it rules out a LOT. I've been living off of italian food, fruits, cold milk (LOVE COLD MILK!), and force fed chicken cutlet and rice.
I'm entering my second trimester, and the symptoms are supposed to be easing up. For the most part they are, with the exception of the increasing aversions. I'm learning to just suck it up and swallow though, for the sake of adequate nutrition. I could go all day without eating, but my stomach never fails to remind me to cram something into my mouth. I have a window of 5 minutes to find food before I start dry heaving up the hizzy. The beauty of the human body. And now the hormones are REALLY coming in to play. I find myself more and more just wanting my personal space... I can't wait until Dats gets home and we can just enjoy each other and our little family before we venture out and meet the rest of the world. Family has always been a big thing for me... but for me, family has never been about blood. It's about the people you care about that care about you, that understand you and give you what you need, be it space or time or a listening ear, open mind, giving heart... Thankfully most of my family is exactly that, but I never limit it to just blood relatives. And I do make more of an effort to have relationships with people who are blood related to me, because I understand that many people think family is family is family, blood first. However, for me, family is love first. I've always been a small group kind of person, and now it's even more intense. My main concern and my main priority has become the little teeny tiny thing in my tummy. As terrible as it sounds, I feel like the rest of the world can fend for itself while I focus on it.
Another new symptom has appeared. I guess I've been dodging it since I've been dodging sleep lately, but now that I'm able to sleep through the night they've come to keep me company. Around the net they're called "vivid dreams" but really all they are for me is nightmares. They aren't even about the baby! They're mostly about Dats leaving me, losing interest, things of that sort. If it's some kind of insight into my psyche, I'm assuming it means that I'm concerned that he won't be a part of our lives... I'm scared but pretty confident about the baby, but the things that worry me are things that are out of my control, aka his feelings, lol. When I wake up I feel very very guilty though because he's always been so good to me and I've never had any reason to doubt him. When I tell him about them he doesn't even get hurt or offended that I would dream such things, just reassures me that the favorite thing on him is his ring. I'm glad he's so understanding about it.
I mentioned that the hormones are kicking in! Yes, with a vengeance. The other night my dad said something about my eating all the time and I cried myself to sleep. I even went into creating a FB post that I knew would bother him and that he would see, since he's always on my ma's account. After reading it he said he's never going to go on FB again, and tells my ma I've changed. *sigh* because I finally say something about the constant teasing, I've changed. oh well. I'll just settle with the fact that he doesn't understand and he's so used to saying whatever he wants and criticizing everyone else for what they say. He's not used to responses.
Anyway, it was a blessing in disguise, since it made me want to leave earlier, which is how I found out that I actually SHOULD leave earlier. The Continental/United merger changed up the rules, so I've got until the end of the month to get outta here. Good thing I'm all packed! Aside from depositing my last check and picking up my medical records, I'm out of the system here =)
Last night I was able to visit Majah! I brought kuya (older brother) with me, because it gets DARK down south, and I'm not familiar with the area. She's so ridiculously happy, I wouldn't dare take her from there, as much as I want to. Driving away and seeing her through my window was awful. I'm going back again once before I leave so that I can get more pictures of her in action.
More when I get home!
1) my brothers are on a health binge and what I cook isn't healthy
2) I hate putting in so much effort and money into something only I will enjoy
3) Now that I'm pregnant, I don't seem to like whatever I know how to make
It will be nice knowing I'll have easy access to it when I do start cooking again, at least. My husband will just have to fend for himself in the kitchen until I'm ready to bear the smell of garlic and onions again. Unless he wants to eat spaghetti and broccoli for the next few months, which will be fine with me!
So aversions. Here's my list:
-garlic
-sweet bread
-kangen water
-onions
-rice
-chicken (especially actual chicken) (exception: in japanese curry, i will eat chicken.)
-most forms of meat (exception : ground beef)
-fish (except for grilled salmon, I'm not sure why but I will eat rice for salmon)
-most seafood ( I can stomach squid/pusit pretty well!)
I guess it doesn't sound so bad, but when you consider what the usual dining fare for a Filipina woman is... it rules out a LOT. I've been living off of italian food, fruits, cold milk (LOVE COLD MILK!), and force fed chicken cutlet and rice.
I'm entering my second trimester, and the symptoms are supposed to be easing up. For the most part they are, with the exception of the increasing aversions. I'm learning to just suck it up and swallow though, for the sake of adequate nutrition. I could go all day without eating, but my stomach never fails to remind me to cram something into my mouth. I have a window of 5 minutes to find food before I start dry heaving up the hizzy. The beauty of the human body. And now the hormones are REALLY coming in to play. I find myself more and more just wanting my personal space... I can't wait until Dats gets home and we can just enjoy each other and our little family before we venture out and meet the rest of the world. Family has always been a big thing for me... but for me, family has never been about blood. It's about the people you care about that care about you, that understand you and give you what you need, be it space or time or a listening ear, open mind, giving heart... Thankfully most of my family is exactly that, but I never limit it to just blood relatives. And I do make more of an effort to have relationships with people who are blood related to me, because I understand that many people think family is family is family, blood first. However, for me, family is love first. I've always been a small group kind of person, and now it's even more intense. My main concern and my main priority has become the little teeny tiny thing in my tummy. As terrible as it sounds, I feel like the rest of the world can fend for itself while I focus on it.
Another new symptom has appeared. I guess I've been dodging it since I've been dodging sleep lately, but now that I'm able to sleep through the night they've come to keep me company. Around the net they're called "vivid dreams" but really all they are for me is nightmares. They aren't even about the baby! They're mostly about Dats leaving me, losing interest, things of that sort. If it's some kind of insight into my psyche, I'm assuming it means that I'm concerned that he won't be a part of our lives... I'm scared but pretty confident about the baby, but the things that worry me are things that are out of my control, aka his feelings, lol. When I wake up I feel very very guilty though because he's always been so good to me and I've never had any reason to doubt him. When I tell him about them he doesn't even get hurt or offended that I would dream such things, just reassures me that the favorite thing on him is his ring. I'm glad he's so understanding about it.
I mentioned that the hormones are kicking in! Yes, with a vengeance. The other night my dad said something about my eating all the time and I cried myself to sleep. I even went into creating a FB post that I knew would bother him and that he would see, since he's always on my ma's account. After reading it he said he's never going to go on FB again, and tells my ma I've changed. *sigh* because I finally say something about the constant teasing, I've changed. oh well. I'll just settle with the fact that he doesn't understand and he's so used to saying whatever he wants and criticizing everyone else for what they say. He's not used to responses.
Anyway, it was a blessing in disguise, since it made me want to leave earlier, which is how I found out that I actually SHOULD leave earlier. The Continental/United merger changed up the rules, so I've got until the end of the month to get outta here. Good thing I'm all packed! Aside from depositing my last check and picking up my medical records, I'm out of the system here =)
Last night I was able to visit Majah! I brought kuya (older brother) with me, because it gets DARK down south, and I'm not familiar with the area. She's so ridiculously happy, I wouldn't dare take her from there, as much as I want to. Driving away and seeing her through my window was awful. I'm going back again once before I leave so that I can get more pictures of her in action.
More when I get home!
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